In Motion

My father always told me, "If you decide to be a teacher, you must be prepared to watch your friends surpass you in future. They will be earning big money as lawyers and engineers and doctors, while you're just a teacher, even though you were smarter than them in school. If you're ok with that, go ahead." I didn't have a problem with that. In fact, I still think I don't. I like teaching, and it's what I'm best at imo. So no, I don't want to be a pharmacist, or a doctor. I want to interact with students and be amused by their innocence. I want to utilize the public speaking skills I have, and inspire my students to learn. And I get a deep satisfaction out of that. I don't think money can change my mind that I'm best cut out for teaching. Lately, though, faced with the very real possibility that I might end up a housewife or with no career to speak of for a while - I found myself struggling with something along similar lines. It's o...

Authenticity. What a big word. To me, it means being courageous enough to show all facets of my true self to others, and not hiding parts of me that I deem weaknesses. But so often I catch myself only posting up happy, bubbly, positive thoughts and moments on Facebook, and I am careful not to reveal the more negative sides of myself. Don't you sometimes get the feeling that some friends on Facebook are are such wonderful people and are constantly positive? I think it's the same case here - maybe deep inside, we all strive to maintain an immaculate image so that people won't judge us for the worse. I think it's good to be authentic, to let others know that we face the same struggles, that perfection does not exist. To make up for that, here's the whole package. #nofilter Nope, I am not always smiling or joking, I cry sometimes when I get overwhelmed (and I've been doing a lot of that lately), I get angry when others "waste" my time by being ineffi...

I like looking at pictures of pretty girls on Facebook. Sometimes the girls themselves aren't especially pretty, but they're all dressed up for prom night or whatever event, so they're still eye candy. =P And then I look at myself and sigh. I want to be pretty too, and I know that with makeup and contacts, I can look fairly decent. There's even a saying that goes "there are no ugly girls, just lazy ones". But makeup is too time-consuming. I just CAN'T at this point in my life stare at a mirror for 10-15 minutes challenging my fine motor skills painting my face. By nature, I dislike anything tedious. Besides, with my sensitive skin, I don't really fancy clogging up my pores with who knows what chemicals. I've read articles that talk about how makeup dries up your face, and my facial skin really doesn't need anymore dehydrating tqvm. Women of the world who have perfect skin, be grateful and never take that for granted. You don't even ha...

Am only Youtubing the FIFA World Cup official songs now, a few days after the end of the World Cup. I'm hopeless, I know. xD Believe it or not, I totally missed out on the craze because I'm an IPG teacher trainee, and internship is no joke. Listening to the songs makes me feel like I should've watched at least ONE match though. =P Oh well. Maybe I can play "The World is Ours" in class one of these days and let my kids have a bit of fun. ;)

Today I had an interesting conversation with a guy after church. He was graduating this year and planning to marry his long-term girlfriend in four years' time. When I asked why he wanted to wait that long, he said it was because of financial reasons - he wanted children straight away and he needed to make sure that he had enough money to support a family first. I've heard this argument quite a bit, with variations here and there.Waiting for a better location, for a better job, etc. And I disagree, for the following reasons (please don't read this in my judgmental tone =P, I'm trying to be logical, and I'm speaking from experience here) : 1. Girls usually don't want to wait THAT long for a statement of commitment, especially if you've graduated and started working already. 2. There's no guarantee she's going to stick around for another four years. It might not be her problem - you may find out that you're growing in separate directions...

I've been musing lately about the way my life has taken a pretty sharp turn. Ever since I was a kid, I never imagined anything other than being anywhere but in Malaysia, having a stable job and 2 or 3 kids (and a dog!) with a husband who shares my (very unambitious) vision. I've always assumed I wouldn't be rich, and that I'd work in the civil service because I love teaching that much. And then life happened, got a boyfriend who was studying in the States, boyfriend turned into husband, and tada, change of plan. I think that by now, I should accept that if there's anything that CANNOT be planned out in advance, it's life. So here I am, with (potentially) no job, a huge debt and an uncertain, unpredictable future for the next few years at least. With this rug pulled out from under my feet, I can only choose to hold on to God's promise that He has plans to prosper me, not to harm me, and to give me a hope and a future. And that all things work togethe...

This post is a continuation (of sorts) of the last post. Since coming back to campus, many people have asked me, "So, how does it feel to be married?" My answer is, it doesn't feel any different, actually. Maybe I feel more secure and happy because I don't have to worry about breaking up with him anymore or being estranged by the distance (things will only get worse if I'm posted to a rural area with no internet connection), but otherwise, I don't feel like getting married opened my eyes up to a whole new world. Or something equally dramatic. Perhaps I don't feel very different because I've been in this relationship for six and a half years, and we've gotten so used to each other already. In other words, we're comfy with each other. So yeah, I'm probably past that fireworks and romance phase. Got over it like 5.5 years ago. =P Besides, we were always the committed sort. *shrugs* Not much of a culture shock there. Or maybe the reason...