In Motion

As most of you know, I'm all about practicality, minimizing input and maximizing output, and getting the best value for money. As I've discovered recently, though, this trait of mine has its drawbacks. Case in point, as a proper grownup living in Malaysia, I have social obligations to fulfill, i.e. attending formal dinners. While they can be fun, they also go against every fibre in my practical being. Here are some of the challenges I've faced: Problem #1 - I tend to have nothing to wear for fancy functions As mentioned earlier, I'm practical. I like to buy items that I know I'll use at least 3 times a month to get my money's worth out of the purchase. I've always been a minimalist, even before I knew minimalism was a thing, way back before it was cool. In fact, I took minimalism so far that I probably gave it a bad name. =P Evening wear, unfortunately, go against everything that practicality advocates. You can't recycle them too much (because socia...

Ever since I hit 25, I've become very conscious of my mortality. =P Rephrased in not-so-dramatic language, I've started caring more about my physical body because 1) I'm now a proper grown-up, 2) like Logan, my cells regenerate slower than they used to and 3) I have to make sure that I'm fit to carry a child, whenever that happens. I've always had this strange mentality that things have to change once I become an adult. For example, I feel like I need to get fit before I turn 30 because 30 is the point of no return (Why, for the life of me I cannot tell you - you have to ask my subconscious). I also feel like my makeup-free years are over, and now that I'll be a (hopefully) working adult, I have to be a well-groomed and poised professional. Therefore, some of the ways that I've made changes to my life include: -Using makeup more often in public settings to look professional -Spending more on clothes to look more put together. -Using sunblock on my fa...

Last week was a testament to how God provides ever so graciously. At first, I was worried because I had nothing on my schedule and JW had to start working overtime to prepare for his defense. Read: Boring week with no one to talk to and nothing to do except read. But praise be to God, my schedule filled up spontaneously - toy shopping with SoY, shopping with friends, shopping with JW, dinner out with JW and EF. I also made dumplings (gyoza or potstickers) for the first time ever with a few Chinese friends. At the end of last week, I was so happy tired. "Happy tired" can be likened to the state after exercising where you're sore all over but feeling good about it. It's not an official adjective (yet) but it's my favourite state of being. =P This week is another one of those without JW (he will be present physically but absent mentally) as he preps for his defense next Wednesday.  However, I now have a few more goals - compiling my own cookbook (which really mea...

I spent some time peer reviewing my Coursera coursemates today. That hour or so made me realize how much I hadn't mellowed down in work mode, not even after two years of lazing around. As I graded my fellow peers, some submissions triggered angry rants like "what on earth were you thinking?" and "how can someone submit something like this and still get so far in the course?". Of course my rants weren't just one-liners (they never are) - JW had to hear the whole tirade and my utter bewilderment at how grownups can't even follow simple instructions. An hour later while walking Jasmine, we were still discussing whether I was being a hard-ass or if my reviews were perfectly justified.  Mind you, this doesn't happen every time. I peer review some in my cohort every week when the course is running, but this time 3 out of 6 submissions had problems with them, and when you mark people down you have to provide an explanation and "constructive crit...

I feel like I'm a walking contradiction. [Disclaimer: This is a first world problem that probably only housewives with too much time on their hands can relate to. Most people are busy handling real problems. =P] Every time I read up on style tips for my type of body shape, I always come across things that would work to address one challenge, but exacerbate another challenge. Perhaps it's my unique body type, which is not the easiest to dress. Case in point: I'm considered petite (by American dress standards), but I also have B cup boobs and a curvy bum. By that description, you must think I look like a ball, but I'm actually pretty slim with a 27 waist size, also known as a size 4. I don't mind my curves, but truth be told, they tend to make me look fatter than I am. I don't like to wear clingy clothes because 1) they are WARM, 2) they aren't as comfortable and 3) they don't look all that appropriate. Clingy clothes do define my waist, though, and ...

I've never thought of myself as discontented. I love being alive and I like to think I'm aware of the many blessings God has showered upon me, both spiritual and physical.  Recently, though, I've noticed a thought pattern that threatens my contentment. It's so subtle and sneaky and enjoyable to wallow in that I very nearly didn't catch it. With big changes to our lives coming up soon, JW and I have been discussing and planning for our future more, and job prospects in particular are exciting to think about. Along with that comes the thought of the real salary for both of us, and along with that thought comes: Phew. We won't have to scrimp and save forever. At some point I'll be able to buy nice clothes and eat out at places that cost more than a grand total of $10 for BOTH of us. And then it inevitably morphs into: Well, not really. We'll need to get a car, a place to stay, the cost of living in Malaysia is so high, and we'll need t...

The other day, JW and I were talking about teenage angst, and I mentioned that I couldn't understand how teenagers felt like life was meaningless and dark and there were days they felt like they couldn't get up. Like seriously, how hard can teenage life be? I know it sounds insensitive of me to say so, but that was what I truly felt as a teenager. JW, however, said that I was the exception, not the rule. Apparently, he had gone through similar feelings and angst as a teen (that certainly explains his love for Avril Lavigne songs). That got us into a deep discussion about the roots of angst. Now, this is by no means a verbatim summary of what was said. The gist of the discussion was that as a teen, there's the need to fit in, there are questions about your purpose and existence, not to mention hormonal changes which make you wonder if you're attractive to the opposite sex. We also dissected how and why I managed to sidestep all those pitfalls of angst. And then I...

It's so much warmer today! You can tell that I've thawed by the fact that I'm writing in longer sentences as opposed to short, choppy ones. =P The weather outside is perfect at the moment. I can't help but hope that it'll stay like this for the rest of October, November , and December...if I really had my way I'd go all the way up to February and skip winter altogether. A girl can dream. =P Anyway! Today's post will be about a recurring nightmare of mine, and I find it very telling about my greatest fears. What would be my greatest fear, you ask? According to my recurring nightmare, at least, it's the fear of missing a flight. Or, to be more precise, failing to finish packing before a flight, and missing the flight as a result. It's odd and not so odd at the same time. The odd thing is, I've never actually missed a flight in my life . Having flown so often in college, I was always on top of things and had a very clear idea of my flight sche...

Brrr. Hurricane Matthew ushered in a cold spell, and I've been bundled up like nobody's business for the past few days. Even Jasmine spends most of the day hibernating, so it's not just me and my whiny self. A part of me is crying blue murder since I can't believe summer's ended. I even checked the weather forecast for the next 10 days, hoping desperately that it's going to get warmer. You can't blame me - hurricanes don't happen every day and this colder weather might just be a temporary thing. =P This week's not going to get much better, but I see a few spots of sunshine (read: >70 degrees Fahrenheit weather) next week. The last remnants of summer! I just bought some nice summer outfits on sale, so I'm still hoping for a chance to debut them. Speaking of which, end-of-season sales are the best time to shop for summer outfits. Summer clothes are really the only outfits that I should buy at this point, given that we're planning to go b...

I've never understood the older generation's obsession with physical attributes. If you're Asian, you probably remember growing up surrounded by relatives who commented on your body shape/appearance. That was also the case for me. I am short, and also happen to have large hips and a large butt. To add to my ever-growing list of physical shortcomings, I also had acne-prone skin as a teen which led to huge pores and tiny scars on my face, which I still bear up to this very day. And year after year, at every family gathering, someone was bound to make a comment about one or all of those features. It wasn't just at every family gathering either. My own mother also constantly bewailed my huge hips and blamed my short genes on my grandmother on my dad's side. Even as a child, I saw through the absurdity of it all. It made no sense to me to comment on something I could not change by sheer will or effort, and was absolutely amoral. If I had been failing at school and ...

Getting paid for work done feels GOOD. All things considered, I mentally assent that I'm not a liability. I run the household, I provide companionship, I basically improve the quality of JW's life. But when I'm just draining monetary resources without putting anything back into the money pot, it's hard not to feel like I have to scrimp ALL the time so that I'm LESS of a liability than I already am. So after I got my first big pay, I felt really happy. Since I recently got a new phone, it also didn't hurt that I could cover the cost without dipping into our savings. It's so freeing to have your own money! Well, as long as you can think of it as YOUR own money. My very active guilt complex forces me to see it as OUR money and that I'm just doing my due diligence by contributing to household expenses. Bummer. Also, when you spend a week working just for $100, you tend appreciate every dollar you make to the fullest and spending becomes a little m...

I can't work legally in the States because of my visa status. A few months ago, though, I decided to try my hand at online freelancing, and I managed to get myself a few odd jobs here and there. Honestly, they don't pay much for the amount of time I put in, but it's a nice feeling to be contributing to a real project that is worth money to a client. It makes me feel like my skills are actually marketable, yannoe? By the way, I'm talking about copy-editing and proofreading jobs. Back when I was a student, I used to proofread assignments pro bono for my friends. =P And I really enjoyed it. I wonder why I never considered making a career out of this "hobby" of mine. Perhaps it was because I didn't know there was such a career option, given that it doesn't fall under the regular categories of 'doctor/lawyer/engineer/teacher'. I know, I grew up really sheltered. =P Getting steady paychecks was also a huge consideration in my career selection, so...

Ok, so not many of you know that I like Pokemon. That's fine, considering that I usually stay away from video games of all types, mainly because I don't like getting addicted committed to things. It's no biggie, just another facet of my control issues. =P However, I really like Pokemon and this started way back when I was a kid and Pokemon was showing on TV right after piano lessons. I recently started playing Pokemon FireRed because everyone was playing Pokemon GO and it made me miss Pokemon battling. Yesterday, I managed to beat the Elite Four and Gary on my first try without even - in JW's words - "training seriously", so I have to conclude that I just have an eye for for picking a great attacking team. I guess I have innate talent when it comes to Pokemon training, if nothing else. =P And yes, I go for fast, overpowered, kill-in-one-strike kind of Pokemon. Defensive moves aren't for me, because oftentimes whoever strikes first makes or breaks the ba...

Those of you who've read my blog long enough know that one of the things that send me straight into my happy zone is getting a great bargain. Those of you who live with me (this means you, Jia Wern) know that I can talk about it for hours afterwards and shamelessly ask for compliments on what a savvy buyer I am.  Good thing not many of you live with me. =P It's not so much the money saved that makes me happy - it's more the thought that I've successfully optimized my resources and traded minimum input for maximum output. So I still diligently answer Kroger feedback surveys because the reward points add up to a few dollars in fuel discounts. It's not like answering the survey takes more than 5 minutes anyway, and guess who has a lot of free time? =P The trouble is, when we still get hit by unexpected expenditures after all that effort to coupon, research for best value items and buy mostly stuff on sale, I tend to feel hopeless. Basically, I feel like, why...

In every marriage, there are responsibilities and expectations. Many a time, these are unconscious ideas that we get from observing our own parents and upbringing, and we don't think about them until we get married and realize that our spouse has very different ideas based on his/her own upbringing. To examine your own set of ideas about roles, you can ask yourself the following questions: 1. Who should take care of paying the bills and filing taxes? 2. Who takes care of car maintenance? 3. Who does most of the grocery shopping and/or budgeting? 4. Who's in charge of banking, investments or deciding on insurance policies? 5. How should household chores be divided? 20/80? 50/50? Should they even be divided? 6. Who should drive when both spouses are in the car? If you have a somewhat traditional idea of marriage, the wife generally monopolizes the kitchen and home duties while the husband works longer hours at work to provide for the family (i.e. is the main breadwinner)...

As some of you may know, I went to Maine recently for my brother-in-law's graduation. Well, not quite, since we skipped the graduation - I'd say it was more of a family reunion thing. Maine was really pretty and charming with bodies of water almost everywhere. The part that we ended up staying in, however, was rather rural with the nearest supermarket a half hour away. Perhaps that's a prerequisite for beauty - unspoiled nature can hardly be found in bustling cities. =P Overall, the vacation was a pretty chill one with one outing per day on average, and most of our time was spent bonding in the Airbnb house with home-cooked meals. Towards the end of the trip, Jia Wern and I went down to Boston since we were flying off from Boston Logan Airport and wanted to see the city a little. I mean, Maine's lovely and all, but almost every international friend I told about Maine didn't know it was a state, what more to say Portland or Mount Desert Island. Boston? Everyone...

After more than a year of sitting on my butt, I really want to start earning money and contribute to household expenses. It's not so much about the money as it is about filling time with productive activities. But to some extent, it's also about the money, because I can volunteer all day long but petrol costs money. So technically, I'm paying to volunteer. Which doesn't seem fair. It's illegal for me to work here, just so you know. But I've been trying my luck anyway. In the past few hours, I created a profile on a freelance work website hoping to get some petty cash. Not only did I seriously underestimate the number of people who are also broke and desperate for work, I also didn't account for how rigid employers can be. It's funny how I never run out of friends who need free help with editing and proofreading, but when it comes to paying jobs, people demand cover letters and proposals and bids and qualifications. It really doesn't help that I...

I don't do very well when I have to wait. This includes waiting for people to drop by the house, waiting to pick someone up, waiting for mail...just waiting for life to happen, basically.  I have this personal principle about never making others wait for me, hence I tend to time things perfectly to the minute. This also extends to opening the door at the first knock (for expected guests, that is), so whenever people are supposed to drop by, I hover within earshot of the door anticipating their arrival. As you can expect, my tendencies make me a very antsy person. I can't fall asleep if I'm expecting someone within the next hour; I don't even go to the bathroom if the ETA is within 5 minutes. Just so that I can answer the door on the first knock and be the most perfect host in the world. I pride myself on never inconveniencing others, but that also means that when others inconvenience me, it's like a Super. Big. Pet. Peeve.  Putting. It. Mildly. Of late, t...

I haven't written a serious post in a while, and that's mainly because most of my serious thoughts occur at inappropriate times or when I'm not in the mood to blog. The serious side of me is a very real one that exists, though, and it is time to show the world my dark(er) side. =P One piece of relationship advice that I adhere to is to never expect my spouse to change. If you're marrying/dating someone to change them into a better person, good luck with that. I think women more than men are prone to 'fixing' their spouse like some home improvement project, and I am inclined to as well, I'll admit that. It's my default mode when I forget to remind myself that a)men want to be accepted the way they are, and b) I'm attracted to him because he complements me. This line of thought has its pitfalls, though. It was the reason I thought we should break up when I realized he wasn't romantic the way I wanted him to be, or when I had a need that he simp...

So many things to blog about, so little time! I think I overcompensated for the cabin fever I suffered during the flu by overloading on activities since then. In between walking Jasmine twice a day (yay for warmer weather!), spring cleaning, meeting up with friends and doing an Old Testament Survey online, the past few weeks have been very fulfilling and productive for me. I'm especially proud of my spring cleaning efforts. We  finally cleaned the car! Well, the interior of the car, at least. Jia Wern has never taken the car to a car wash, so you can imagine 3 years' worth of dirt, dust and dead leaves (don't ask me how they got in there) in the car. Having no access to an outdoor socket, we couldn't just plug in our corded vacuum cleaner for that purpose. We actually did try to use his handheld cordless vacuum cleaner to do some cleaning last year, but that can only vacuum for 30 seconds at a time before running out of juice. We promptly gave up and didn't thin...