In Motion

I feel sad whenever I watch videos of super romantic proposals, or weddings. And I can't really figure out why. Maybe my heart still hasn't healed fully.

Title says it all. After 4 years of being in this place, and enduring an increasingly heavy workload (half of which I don't see the relevance of), I feel jaded and disillusioned. I don't even want to strive anymore, because striving means I get unhappy, and I get tired. Like, why should I create teaching aids which can be easily gotten in the market? Why should I spend a few hours making a video which may never be played since LCDs are so hard to come by in real classrooms, and pupils can learn a song equally well if I just paste up some lyrics on mahjong paper? And WHY should I spend hours creating and compiling folios for auditors when that precious time can be spent doing other stuff? Why do people in university get so much free time to themselves, while we have to ration our time carefully for the various activities that various departments demand of us, and inevitably end up exhausted because there are TOO many activities? And why do I care about doing well? Can I