In Motion

Right now, every bedroom in our home is occupied. It's a bit of a change, but not necessarily in a bad way. The house is definitely more lively now, and it helps that both tenants are friendly, considerate and helpful. It's also super nice to be living with my best friend under the same roof. =P Amy's one of the tenants, and she's been here for about two weeks now. Over the past couple of weeks, we've caught up a lot on each other's lives and then some. It's great that I don't have to WhatsApp her if there's something I need to talk about. Talk about instant gratification! Typing on a QWERTY keypad as opposed to just verbal diarrhoea -verbal diarrhoea wins hands down. =P Coming home to good company is really not something I should take for granted. Before this, it was mostly just me and JW, and while JW is great company, female company is rather different. Conversations between me and Amy can go on for hours and we'll still find something t...

Throughout the week, I get inspirations for blog posts through all the things that happen at school. Then I wonder if it's safe/wise to blog about them, because, you know, what if someone from work/a parent eventually discovers my blog? I don't know if I'm ready to deal with the consequences of potentially controversial topics, especially if my job is on the line. Not that anything I have to say is THAT controversial, imo, but who knows - one man's harmless comment may be another man's hate speech. I've also found myself posting less on Facebook, because perhaps it's safer that young professionals are seen as not having either a personality or a personal life. To date, I haven't added any of my colleagues on Facebook. Should I keep my work friends and other friends separate? What's the wise move? I don't mean to sound suspicious of my colleagues, but mixing friendship and work is not always the best idea. I've only been at my workplace ...

Praise God for answered prayers - Jasmine has finally found a new home. If all goes well, she'll be leaving us on the 14th (this Friday) to go to her new home out in the country.  I'm genuinely glad for her because this new home sounds like paradise. She'll have 4 acres of land to roam around in and a doting owner who'll love her to bits. And she won't have to compete for affection with another dog, too, because this owner's last dog passed away a few months ago. I've always felt that although she'd do okay in a home with another pet, Jasmine can be a bit of a diva and an attention-hog. =P It's all happening sooner than I'd thought it would, but I guess it's for the best. I had a good cry about this yesterday night, so here's hoping it's all out of my system now (I really don't want to start bawling my eyes out and make it awkward for everyone when it's time for her to go). I keep comforting myself with the fact that Jasmi...

Today is our 9th anniversary. Dating anniversary, that is - but when you've been together for so long, it counts. =P It's remarkable that after so many years, we can still sit down and have long, deep conversations over dinner, or anywhere, really, for that matter. Even at the food court in the Asian market. =P I think it's absolutely wonderful that we still find each other engaging. It doesn't take much to entertain us - just a couch and a good topic will do. The long years of our LDR had at least one good result: the ability for us to delve deep into meaningful conversations and generate an infinite number of stimulating topics to discuss at any give moment. The downside? We're both couch potatoes. =P And over the years, it's interesting to see how our opinions and ideas have grown and changed, honed by each other. I find myself thinking more like Jia Wern, and I catch him presenting my point of view to others often. I am glad that our relationship is ...

In every marriage, there are responsibilities and expectations. Many a time, these are unconscious ideas that we get from observing our own parents and upbringing, and we don't think about them until we get married and realize that our spouse has very different ideas based on his/her own upbringing. To examine your own set of ideas about roles, you can ask yourself the following questions: 1. Who should take care of paying the bills and filing taxes? 2. Who takes care of car maintenance? 3. Who does most of the grocery shopping and/or budgeting? 4. Who's in charge of banking, investments or deciding on insurance policies? 5. How should household chores be divided? 20/80? 50/50? Should they even be divided? 6. Who should drive when both spouses are in the car? If you have a somewhat traditional idea of marriage, the wife generally monopolizes the kitchen and home duties while the husband works longer hours at work to provide for the family (i.e. is the main breadwinner)...

I've been keeping to myself lately, mainly because I just don't feel up to hanging out or scheduling playdates with friends. I'll probably just blame this mood on PMS and hope that it goes away soon. I guess I've been feeling a little .... sien , for lack of a better word to describe it. "Depressed" would be an exaggeration, "sad" doesn't quite meet the mark, and I'm definitely not "bored". Even when I'm home alone, there's always a whole list of chores to be done and sometimes, research and meal planning can take up an entire afternoon. =P I'm perpetually occupied, which is a good thing for my choleric dark side. What nags at me sometimes is whether I'm trying hard enough to reach out to others and maintain a healthy social network. The catch is that there are times I'd rather be alone. Don't get me wrong, I love having meaningful relationships and connecting with others. Too much isolation drives me cra...

I haven't written a serious post in a while, and that's mainly because most of my serious thoughts occur at inappropriate times or when I'm not in the mood to blog. The serious side of me is a very real one that exists, though, and it is time to show the world my dark(er) side. =P One piece of relationship advice that I adhere to is to never expect my spouse to change. If you're marrying/dating someone to change them into a better person, good luck with that. I think women more than men are prone to 'fixing' their spouse like some home improvement project, and I am inclined to as well, I'll admit that. It's my default mode when I forget to remind myself that a)men want to be accepted the way they are, and b) I'm attracted to him because he complements me. This line of thought has its pitfalls, though. It was the reason I thought we should break up when I realized he wasn't romantic the way I wanted him to be, or when I had a need that he simp...

So many things to blog about, so little time! I think I overcompensated for the cabin fever I suffered during the flu by overloading on activities since then. In between walking Jasmine twice a day (yay for warmer weather!), spring cleaning, meeting up with friends and doing an Old Testament Survey online, the past few weeks have been very fulfilling and productive for me. I'm especially proud of my spring cleaning efforts. We  finally cleaned the car! Well, the interior of the car, at least. Jia Wern has never taken the car to a car wash, so you can imagine 3 years' worth of dirt, dust and dead leaves (don't ask me how they got in there) in the car. Having no access to an outdoor socket, we couldn't just plug in our corded vacuum cleaner for that purpose. We actually did try to use his handheld cordless vacuum cleaner to do some cleaning last year, but that can only vacuum for 30 seconds at a time before running out of juice. We promptly gave up and didn't thin...

If you're wondering why I haven't posted any photos on Facebook bragging about how my Valentine's Day went, it's because I've been down with the flu and being sick does not make one feel very romantic. That, and the fact that nothing happened anyway. =P Shouldn't be surprising to you readers, since you should know by now that I haven't a single shred of humanity sentimentality in my being. Since the female in the relationship is usually the police of special dates and events, if I (the female, in case you were wondering) couldn't care less, then it goes without saying that forgetting/ignoring special dates and events will be a non-issue for us.  See, I like to celebrate life on a regular basis so I don't mind if nothing happens on a special day - I know I can always convince Jia Wern to take me out whenever. It also goes against every practical fiber in my being to do something special on a day when flowers and presents are twice or thric...

Happiness is... the smell of dog. I kid you not. Sometimes, I actually pick up Jasmine's dog bed and sniff deeply to get a whiff of her doggy smell. Happiness is... when Jasmine obediently drops a bone she found on her adventures outside because I said "No". She picks her owner's happiness over instant gratification! Happiness is... a dog insistently nuzzling its way onto your lap and curling up to sleep there when you're watching Netflix or using the laptop. Happiness is...when there's a warm furry hot water bottle curled up against you during afternoon naps in the winter. Happiness is... being greeted by a wagging tail whenever you come home, or even something as simple as wake up from a nap. It is so affirming that someone is that eager for you to wake up. =P Happiness is... watching Jasmine bound swiftly and gracefully with her super long legs to chase a squirrel. The not-so-fun part is having to clean up the wet mud splattered all over her aft...

As 2015 gradually comes to a close, I figured I should write a post about this remarkable past year and the ways that I have changed since coming over to the States. I'm writing this in advance because come January 31st, I'll be in Gatlinburg with the husband counting down to the New Year. Exciting! =D As I type these words, Jasmine is quietly snoozing on top of a comforter in her dog bed on the futon in a heated apartment with Christmas music playing in the background. American dogs, pffft, so spoiled. =P For the first time in my life, I am fully responsible for the life of another creature. I loved Lara as well, but mum was really the one who took care of everything from her food to her vet bills. With Jasmine, her quality of life depends solely on me (and JW, of course, but if things get tough, he always says she's my dog =P). That's a whole different level of love and commitment. We also don't have a backyard for her to romp about in, so I need to walk her da...

Today is Thanksgiving, and I have so much to be thankful about. I'm a child of God, happily married to my husband, life is wonderful and relatively stress-free, we have a great church community, and we finally got a dog! Life with a dog is wonderful. It's definitely been an incentive to come home/stay home and to wake up earlier in the mornings (to let Jasmine out). And I love how she's such a snugglebug. We make her sleep in the dog bed at night because there simply isn't enough space on our bed for another creature, but in the morning she gets on the bed and snuggles up to us. If you've never had a dog snuggle up to you quietly, you don't know what love is. =P I also like taking her out on walks and seeing people smile at her (because she's such a cutie). I used to go all mushy with other people's dogs and now I have one of my own for others to go gaga over! The other day at Duke Gardens, two girls came up to us to asked to pet Jasmine. I was onl...

You know that dog I'd set my sights on adopting? Turns out she was returned to the shelter by the other person who snapped her up before I could. So here's a picture of Jasmine in her new home : She's a smart one, gotta give her that. =P

When I started dating Jia Wern at the young age of 17, my mum was concerned that I hadn't lived enough of my life as a single lady yet. When I got married at the age of 23, my (Chinese) friends were incredulous. Most don't see marriage in the near future yet. When I decided to put my career on hold to move to the States to join my husband, many questioned if I was making the right move. After all, the typical Asian mentality is to "finish your studies, get a good job, save up and THEN get married and have kids". I apologize for the mental agony I put all of you well-meaning folks through. =P Yes, I have definitely missed out on being single and free to travel, but guess what? I don't miss being single, and I detest travelling anyway (I know this opinion is going to make me very unpopular with the hip crowd, but whatever). I don't regret getting tied down at all! I love the commitment, responsibility and stability of being married. And I'm not being bia...

Summer is coming to a close, as evidenced by the chilly nights we've been having. This morning, I woke up to a cloudy sky and cold, damp weather - you know, the kind perfect for sleeping in. =P Haven't had those in a while. I even wore a sweater for a good part of the morning. Sorry about the blogging hiatus. I spent the past week in a motel due to plumbing repairs in my apartment, and the change in environment wasn't very conducive for blogging. At first I thought a motel stay would be fun since my brain subconsciously associated it with travelling and adventure, but I soon figured out that motel stays are only fun if you spend most of the day out, not cooped up in it. =P Still, it was a change of scenery and we made the most out of it. We fully utilized the TV once, and the bathtub once. I know, I'm getting old and these things don't amuse me as much as they used to before. Ah, the disenchantment that comes with being an adult! Give me a fast internet connecti...

I now know why guys are terrified of asking girls out. Having made more friends over the past few weeks, I've also tried to spend more time with them outside of the book club. That, however, means I have to put myself out there and ask acquaintances if they would like to go for coffee or hang out. Before that happens, though, I usually spend a few hours worrying if I'm appearing too eager to make friends. I don't want to be that clingy puppy dog/overeager beaver that people hide their annoyance towards and feel bad about declining invitations from. =P Asking someone out also means putting them in a position where they're obligated to respond nicely because it's the polite thing to do, and I really don't want to put any pressure on anyone. Yes, I know I'm the one with loads of free time on my hands and others have more pressing schedules. That only adds to my hesitation. In all honesty, I probably worry too much about other people's perception of me. ...

I just spent my whole morning creating a video collage of the photos from our wedding. It was fun. =P My rationale for the video went like this : I uploaded about 60 of the best photos to a Facebook album, but I really had around 400. Which meant there were quite a lot that the public didn't get to see. Flowers and more abstract photos are nice, but when you're trying to make a summary of your wedding (no one wants to go through 400 photos on Facebook), you just pick the ones with the most people or that best represent the event. And because I've already posted some to Facebook, this video can be for the rest of the photos that weren't shown (like the flowers and deco). =D Otherwise they would be wasted okay...I paid like RM2k for my photographer and I have to make the most out of it. =P It was also a trip down memory lane for me as I went through some of those photos. Thanks to a free trial by Animoto, making this video collage was a breeze. Enjoy! Song: "Wh...

I really think Facebook isn't the best place to get advice on life and relationships from. By "advice", I mean shared pictures that go "Fake friends do this, real friends do that", or "A real guy will do this, not that", or some pithy quotes/links that go viral ('viral' meaning more than 2 people sharing it on your Facebook newsfeed, of course). Or could it be that my newsfeed has a higher proportion of these things than other people's newsfeeds? *shrugs* Angsty teens sharing such quotes or 'wisdom' can be overlooked because we all know how tumultuous and dramatic teenage life can be. For all us older folks, though, we should know better that life can't be neatly categorized into black and white, right and wrong, true and false, and so on. Case in point : Friends can't be categorized into just "real" and "fake" - there may be acquaintances who may genuinely like you but wouldn't dream of stealing ...

I was pondering the boring state of my existence just the other day, when I realized that having a job only improves things slightly. The reason I was ruminating over it is because being a stay-at-home wife, your social life takes a big hit. I once asked a housewife what the biggest challenge/downside was to being one, and she said it was the loneliness and loss of social skills. When you're facing a toddler 24/7 and don't have peers to talk to because everyone's busy with their own life, your social skills will definitely degenerate from lack of use. Even though I don't have a toddler take care of, I can identify with the isolation. For example, it would be SO MUCH EASIER to go up to a stranger, make introductions and swap info about what I do or compare notes on what the other person does if I had a career worth talking about. But I don't, so I'm stuck feeling awkward. And why am I talking about putting myself out there to meet random people? Because as ...

Recently, a very close friend of mine from college got married. To my surprise, I actually felt like I was missing out on a major milestone in her life and the reunion of my classmates at her wedding. I also just got the news that yet another classmate will be getting hitched this weekend, but I'm too far removed geographically to share in their happiness. The weird thing is, I find myself actually wanting to share in the happiness even though I can't. I'm surprised that I feel this way now, given that I'm hardly the most sentimental person you'll know. I didn't mind my close friends not attending my own wedding. I didn't know what the big deal was about having close friends to celebrate with me because I just wanted to get the whole wedding thing over and done with. I didn't feel much loss when I was still in college and skipped the weddings of some coursemates - granted, I wasn't very close to them anyway. Maybe the degree of intimacy you have...