Love is not enough

Over the past month, I have been flooded with references to marriage and relationships and future plans and going over to the States to see my boyfriend.

All this only served to remind me of the sad reality of my relationship.

I'm feeling upset because these are my best dating years, and I have to spend them Skyping or Google hangout-ing with my boyfriend. I want him nearby to be with me, to go places with me, to share life experiences together. And it saddens me that I will not have this for another good two or three more years - by which time I would have started working already. Then, things will be definitely be different with our commitment to our respective careers. I want to experience a dating life as a student, love with all my heart, and be loved in all the ways possible.

Is this so unreasonable a request?

I feel so happy when he's back home. So eager to see him at every opportunity and be his constant companion. I can hardly imagine dinner dates, movie dates and surprise dates all throughout the year because I think my heart would just burst with joy. What we have now is physical companionship crammed into a month or two every year. Last year, only 2 weeks.

It's taking a toll on me. I feel like I'm missing out on so much. I feel like life is being unfair. I despair because my current status as a teacher trainee under a bond might keep us apart for even longer if I get posted to a really rural area.

I wish we didn't have so many obstacles keeping us apart.

Sometimes love is just not enough.

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