Culture-ed.

So my first paper (Culture and Learning) is over, and I don't think I did too well for it. Till today, I think it's absurd to test us on something we did not learn, and that it's unfair to change exam formats without notice. 

...Well everyone's probably in the same boat, so no biggie. =P That's how I usually comfort myself.

...Hmm I seem to be saying the same thing about every exam.

That's not the main point of my post today. It's related, though. To culture. Humour me, I like to apply what I've learnt in my books. If the exam won't ask questions about what I've learnt, then I shall just have to show off my knowledge in other ways. =P

The situation : 

Recently, I was frustrated with the way some friends were carrying out certain things, and I confronted them publicly about it, and someone said I shouldn't have - mainly so that the other person could save face. In the end, I got my way, which I probably would not have gotten had I stayed silent (or confronted the person through a private message, which he could just easily ignore).

The commentary : 

"Face", what an Asian concept. Harmony and discretion, the backbone of collectivist cultures. Therefore, all you need is someone who is slightly more pushy and autocratic to suggest something, and everyone would go along with it, even if lots of dissatisfied talk is going around behind backs. I see the point of tact and discretion and all that, but what if there's a loss of democracy as a result? And is it worth it to have so many people backstabbing you, but nodding amiably to your face? I prefer to be forward and direct about my displeasure, and if you know me well enough, you'll know it's nothing personal - it's just business. I can still be friends with you, sometimes friends aren't happy with each other, and that's just life.

I like people to be open, to express themselves honestly, to have no problem saying 'no' to things they do not want to do. If I were the leader, I would like honest feedback so that I can work in a way that serves their best interests. I do not like people saying 'yes' to something, and then bitching about the request behind my back. I don't even like it if people say 'yes', but they don't really want to do something - they're just saying yes because it's expected of them as friends. Friends don't make friends do favours against their will. I know this happens, because people talk. This is what I dislike about collectivist cultures - you never know what other people REALLY think about you.

If the truth isn't what you wanted or expected to hear, so what? Don't take it personally, people will always have their own preferences. (Take note, when I say 'preferences', I don't mean responsibilities and basic duties that one should fulfill in the best interests of the whole group. That, everyone should carry out. It's called being DECENT. For example, if you're part of a group and you're slacking with your portion of the task or assignment, then don't whine about your preferences and human rights. You deserve a dressing down.) On the leader's part, it does require a certain degree of maturity and detachment to accept different views. Perhaps most people have not come to that stage yet, or haven't read enough books on leadership and communication. In that case, we have a long way to go. *weary sigh*

In short, as you can probably conclude, I was nurtured in a more individualistic culture. I read books on communication skills and developed my character based on the principles of honesty, openness and assertiveness. I always had a hard time fitting in with friends in the area of communication, because at every stage of my life, I was in a more collectivist community. When will the collectivists ever understand that I am, and will always be an individualist? When will I be appreciated because people can take my words at face value? When will I meet more friends who understand the value of honesty?

Because trust me, life is so much more simple and straightforward that way.