When to cross a bridge

The other day, I read a devotional book for married couples. No, I'm not getting ahead of myself here, I just like to read stuff about relationships and it so happened to be in my dad's library and it had many stories of couples...now why am I getting defensive, there's really nothing wrong with reading stuff like that. =P

So don't judge me. *glares*

The point I was trying to make before I interrupted myself to justify my taste in books *deep breath* was that I was a bit discouraged by all the possible conflict factors that might arise after marriage. I'm a bit (okay a lot) of a pessimistic perfectionist by nature, so I like things to run smoothly, not least when it comes to my own relationship.Given a choice, I would like to make all the right decisions, meet Mr Right, be Missus Right, live a comfortable life with enough money to get by, have non-rebellious children (*sigh* this one's probably wishful thinking) and just have a happy, satisfying life in general. That's really not too much to ask for, right? =P

So when the book explored every single factor that could possibly lead to conflicts, I felt like it was a bit too much to handle. Knowing my own temperament, I daresay we definitely will have conflicts and problems, even without uncontrollable variables being thrown into the marriage equation, for example, a baby, school, your toddler's playmates etc etc etc. I don't have this idealistic notion that marriage should be conflict-free, but I would certainly LIKE it to be as conflict-free as possible because...well, you really ARE stuck with that person for the next anywhere from 20 to 60 years.

I'm getting to the inspirational part here so hold on a little longer. =P

Don't get me wrong, the book was good. It explored realistic situations and used biblical principles to support the advice and suggestions given. It was full of hope for couples with differences I would deem 'irreconcilable'. I just have the knack for zooming in on the negatives. =P

Then, I realized, I had felt the same way about boy-girl relationships before I started almost 5 years ago. I'd read numerous books on BGR, went to countless seminars, and even created an ideal image of what my "perfect" relationship would look like. By God's grace I got myself a nice guy. However, that didn't spare me  from fear at the beginning of the relationship, mainly because it was (and is) my first (and I do hope it will be my last =P), I was inexperienced, and I had the same overwhelming need for everything to be perfect.

And Jia Wern taught me  true to his procrastinating nature to cross that bridge when we come to it.

It's a solid piece of advice. We have definitely had (and will continue to have) our rough patches and conflicts, but we've made it thus far. The secret? No secret. We just like each other an awful lot and try our best to love each other just as much. Oh and communication is vital. =P  Here's to a relationship 5 years old this coming January 2nd (Jan 1st on his side, gah the technicalities of an LDR spanning a few continents). Point is, if things could work out for so long, maybe marriage won't be as bad as I make it out to be in my head. After all, we've both refined our conflict styles and skills over the past five years. Why worry about something and despair before it even comes to pass?

At any rate, we'll cross those bridges when we come to them. =D

P.s. And remember, guys, cross bridges, not burn them .=P