Mess of the Heart
I used to think that doing the right thing will eventually pay off; that deep down, people do appreciate integrity and kindness, even if they might not like you being a goody-two-shoes at first. If they really don't, it's a problem with their hearts, and I just do what's right by God. After all, Matthew 10:28 reads : "And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear Him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
But sometimes, when good intentions go to waste or backfire (again and again), it can be so easy to get discouraged. Like, why love and care for someone when they keep wringing your heart into little pieces? It's so much easier to be detached or removed from the situation, or to maybe put that person in his/her place with a harsh word. I think I do a fine job of speaking the truth, but maybe I haven't gotten the loving tone down pat, so I won't say I can speak the truth in love just yet. The point is, sometimes it seems to pay off better if we're a little nastier, more detached, not so loving, and not such a pushover. For every story about how a little kindness transforms a cranky, unhappy person, I bet there are hundreds of stories of people being spiteful and abusive to their deathbed even though their family members have been more than accommodating. It's a fallen world after all.
And then there are those really messed up people who have so many issues that the conflict isn't really caused by you, or about you. The kind of people with whom whatever you do is wrong, and that there really isn't anything your actions can affect. They can't help feeling angry or depressed - chemical imbalances and mental disorders are very real.
What do you do with people like that? Do you indulge them by just being supportive and available even though they lash out at you? Just because someone's depressed doesn't give them the right to ruin everyone's life. We normal people don't suddenly become devoid of feelings or immune to hurt when we deal with a hurting person. Forgiving is easy enough to me if I don't have to cope with it for long. But what if they never change? I think I'd forgive, and try to forget them too.
I think I now understand why I can't stand people who have issues, who seem really messed up. I feel like telling them to get a grip on reality and take control of their own life. If you need medicine, get it. If you need help, get it. If you sit around and whine and hurt everyone else while you're at it, you're being selfish, and I'm not going to put up with that.
I've put up with it all my life already.
I don't know what the right thing to do is. There are some things only Christ can fix.
But sometimes, when good intentions go to waste or backfire (again and again), it can be so easy to get discouraged. Like, why love and care for someone when they keep wringing your heart into little pieces? It's so much easier to be detached or removed from the situation, or to maybe put that person in his/her place with a harsh word. I think I do a fine job of speaking the truth, but maybe I haven't gotten the loving tone down pat, so I won't say I can speak the truth in love just yet. The point is, sometimes it seems to pay off better if we're a little nastier, more detached, not so loving, and not such a pushover. For every story about how a little kindness transforms a cranky, unhappy person, I bet there are hundreds of stories of people being spiteful and abusive to their deathbed even though their family members have been more than accommodating. It's a fallen world after all.
And then there are those really messed up people who have so many issues that the conflict isn't really caused by you, or about you. The kind of people with whom whatever you do is wrong, and that there really isn't anything your actions can affect. They can't help feeling angry or depressed - chemical imbalances and mental disorders are very real.
What do you do with people like that? Do you indulge them by just being supportive and available even though they lash out at you? Just because someone's depressed doesn't give them the right to ruin everyone's life. We normal people don't suddenly become devoid of feelings or immune to hurt when we deal with a hurting person. Forgiving is easy enough to me if I don't have to cope with it for long. But what if they never change? I think I'd forgive, and try to forget them too.
I think I now understand why I can't stand people who have issues, who seem really messed up. I feel like telling them to get a grip on reality and take control of their own life. If you need medicine, get it. If you need help, get it. If you sit around and whine and hurt everyone else while you're at it, you're being selfish, and I'm not going to put up with that.
I've put up with it all my life already.
I don't know what the right thing to do is. There are some things only Christ can fix.
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