I choose to respond this way

"The one thing you can't take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one's freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given circumstance." 

- Viktor E. Frankl

4.5 years ago, I began my training. It was a rough start with conflicts and clashes because my philosophy of life did not (and still does not) match the culture here. I value intelligence, efficiency and knowledge - people here value seniority above all else. "Because I'm your superior" is an inadequate justification, especially if it's about a gap in knowledge or the way things were run less than efficiently. Nobody rocked the boat except me, and I was singled out as a thorn in the flesh by the department. I ended up distrusting the department and everyone in it. Everyone had their own agenda, and when it came to the bottom line, nobody would side a student. After all I would be gone in 5 years, but they had to keep working with their colleagues for who knows how much longer.

Over the years, my initial hotheadedness wore off, and I became more compliant. Compliant with the way the system was, and even numb. I tried picking my battles , and fought for smaller things. Otherwise, I tried to stay under the radar. I never volunteered for anything that would put me in the spotlight, because I knew a general feeling of hostility towards me still existed. I became selfish, because no one else would watch my back. I knew I was in this alone because no one else shared my vision or philosophy. Why fight for others if you'll end up as the sole scapegoat? Might as well just look out for your own interests. I even started to work a little smarter and look for loopholes to get out of things. In a system where the hardworking are exploited and the lazy ones get off easy, you don't want to be too outstanding.

I became determined that the department would have no effect on my future. I would continue to be excellent in the ways that mattered, and treat them professionally but coldly. I would be independent, and not rely on them in any way that indebted myself to them. If they saw my worth (and some do), and treated me like a valued student instead of a threat, then I would treat them in kind. Otherwise, not all of them would have the satisfaction of saying they played a part in nurturing and grooming me to become the teacher that I am today. Perhaps their idea was to beat me into submission, but they underestimated my spirit.

I am detached, and I will not miss this place when I'm gone. You can love the delinquents because they're naughty but affectionate, you can love the average students because they need you, but you will not love me because I do not need to be loved and I do not need you.

I am only here to be polished.

The thing is, I could have been a great asset.