In Motion

Happiness is... the smell of dog. I kid you not. Sometimes, I actually pick up Jasmine's dog bed and sniff deeply to get a whiff of her doggy smell. Happiness is... when Jasmine obediently drops a bone she found on her adventures outside because I said "No". She picks her owner's happiness over instant gratification! Happiness is... a dog insistently nuzzling its way onto your lap and curling up to sleep there when you're watching Netflix or using the laptop. Happiness is...when there's a warm furry hot water bottle curled up against you during afternoon naps in the winter. Happiness is... being greeted by a wagging tail whenever you come home, or even something as simple as wake up from a nap. It is so affirming that someone is that eager for you to wake up. =P Happiness is... watching Jasmine bound swiftly and gracefully with her super long legs to chase a squirrel. The not-so-fun part is having to clean up the wet mud splattered all over her aft...

As 2015 gradually comes to a close, I figured I should write a post about this remarkable past year and the ways that I have changed since coming over to the States. I'm writing this in advance because come January 31st, I'll be in Gatlinburg with the husband counting down to the New Year. Exciting! =D As I type these words, Jasmine is quietly snoozing on top of a comforter in her dog bed on the futon in a heated apartment with Christmas music playing in the background. American dogs, pffft, so spoiled. =P For the first time in my life, I am fully responsible for the life of another creature. I loved Lara as well, but mum was really the one who took care of everything from her food to her vet bills. With Jasmine, her quality of life depends solely on me (and JW, of course, but if things get tough, he always says she's my dog =P). That's a whole different level of love and commitment. We also don't have a backyard for her to romp about in, so I need to walk her da...

Bright, cheery sunshine certainly makes everything else in the world seem brighter and cheerier. On that note, it's mid December and the weather has been surprisingly pleasant - think 24 degrees Celsius last week, and right now it's still pretty warm (for December, that is). Checked the weather forecast for Christmas, and it's going to be 21 degrees Celsius! Every Malaysian's dream come true! =D And to think that just a month ago, it hit -1 degree Celsius. Uncanny, eh? Apparently the South fluctuates pretty unpredictably when it comes to the weather. Warm winters aren't all that uncommon, and I'm hoping this one stays warm for a longer time. It'd be a wonderful Christmas gift to have Malaysian-like weather instead of the bitter, dry cold. =D On another note, Jia Wern and I finally went to the library to get our library cards made! I wonder why I never thought of this earlier. Perhaps it's because e-books are cheap here and can be auto-delivered in...

Came across this gem while reading "Jesus the King" by Tim Keller, and wanted to share it because it sums up well how Christians should view money and status in the light of their salvation. =D "Christians are free to take or leave  [emphasis mine] money, power, recognition, and status.  How? These things at the top of the kingdom of this world don't have to control them the same way anymore. When you understand what Jesus has done for you, it frees you. When you realize that you are made free by His grace and not by your achievement, and that you are loved in Jesus Christ, it changes the way you look at power, money, and status; they don't control you anymore. If you're trying to save yourself, trying to earn your own self-esteem, trying to prove yourself, you'll either hate money and power too much or love them too much. For example, you may say you don't like money and power and don't like people who have them. Staying away from them makes ...

It's good practice having a pet to see what Jia Wern and I will be like as parents in future. Although none of it is a surprise, since I already knew I'd have to be the bad cop and he, the good cop. =P Anyway, it's super apparent with Jasmine. I set boundaries so that she doesn't get used to being spoiled, such as insisting she finishes her kibble before I give her any fresh wet food. I also insist that she sleeps on the dog bed instead of curling up in bed with us at night (she loves snuggling with us on the human bed so she tries to wiggle out of that one sometimes). I don't think I'm being unnecessarily strict - it's important for her not to get used to habits that might not be sustainable over the long run or if she'll need to be dog-sitted at some point. For example, if she makes it a habit to hop into bed with us at night, I would probably suffer from having not enough space to move around and also from stiffness because I don't want to mov...

Today is Thanksgiving, and I have so much to be thankful about. I'm a child of God, happily married to my husband, life is wonderful and relatively stress-free, we have a great church community, and we finally got a dog! Life with a dog is wonderful. It's definitely been an incentive to come home/stay home and to wake up earlier in the mornings (to let Jasmine out). And I love how she's such a snugglebug. We make her sleep in the dog bed at night because there simply isn't enough space on our bed for another creature, but in the morning she gets on the bed and snuggles up to us. If you've never had a dog snuggle up to you quietly, you don't know what love is. =P I also like taking her out on walks and seeing people smile at her (because she's such a cutie). I used to go all mushy with other people's dogs and now I have one of my own for others to go gaga over! The other day at Duke Gardens, two girls came up to us to asked to pet Jasmine. I was onl...

You know that dog I'd set my sights on adopting? Turns out she was returned to the shelter by the other person who snapped her up before I could. So here's a picture of Jasmine in her new home : She's a smart one, gotta give her that. =P

When I started dating Jia Wern at the young age of 17, my mum was concerned that I hadn't lived enough of my life as a single lady yet. When I got married at the age of 23, my (Chinese) friends were incredulous. Most don't see marriage in the near future yet. When I decided to put my career on hold to move to the States to join my husband, many questioned if I was making the right move. After all, the typical Asian mentality is to "finish your studies, get a good job, save up and THEN get married and have kids". I apologize for the mental agony I put all of you well-meaning folks through. =P Yes, I have definitely missed out on being single and free to travel, but guess what? I don't miss being single, and I detest travelling anyway (I know this opinion is going to make me very unpopular with the hip crowd, but whatever). I don't regret getting tied down at all! I love the commitment, responsibility and stability of being married. And I'm not being bia...

One of my latest undertakings is signing up for an online TESOL certificate by Arizona State University through Coursera. The course started this week, but it's a pretty laid-back course since it only demands about 2-4 hours of study each week. The downside is that it would take perhaps a year or more to get my certificate since it's going at such a leisurely pace. What I do have is time, however, so I'm not too concerned about that. Anyway, I completed my first assignment two days ago, and felt like posting it up here. The assignment was to state my opinion in 1-4 paragraphs on the statement "Anyone who speaks the language can teach the language". Since many believe just about anybody can teach and that teachers aren't really professionals, here's my two cents about it. Not Everyone who Speaks the Language can Teach It My name is May, and I strongly disagree with the assumption that “Anyone who speaks the language can teach the language.” My reason...

I've been asked to present about Malaysia to the international spouses at the IHouse on November 6th. For the past month or so, I've been piecing together my presentation and doing lots of research on Malaysia for this purpose. If I were back in Malaysia, this would have been unthinkable. Among Malaysians, I'm the last person you want to ask about Malaysian culture, seeing as I'm not very culturally knowledgeable about the gazillion ethnicities and hybrids that Malaysia boasts. I am Chinese, but I hardly know any Chinese traditions because I was brought up practically anglicized. Being Christians, my parents didn't subscribe to superstitions and old wives' tales, and neither did we. Being mostly introverts, we didn't celebrate festivals on a large scale, much less know about the background of these festivals. Granted, I did pick up some Chinese history and mythology from the Chinese primary school I attended, but knowledge doesn't stick when it isn'...

Brace yourselves, the cold is coming. Scratch that, it's already arrived. As I write this, I'm holed up in my bedroom with a portable heater because I'm too cheap to heat the whole apartment up when I'm alone . Sometime today I'm going to have to go out of my room to do the dishes and put the laundry to wash, but not right now. Brrr. Summer went by too quickly. I'm not quite ready to break out my scarves and jackets yet. One of the things I deplore about the cold is how I'll look the same every day because my big jacket/sweater is all that's visible no matter how dressed up I am beneath that layer. The monotony gets to me. =P I've also started moisturizing my legs more regularly now because I can totally feel the eczema itching to present itself. Haha pun but eczema is NOT funny. Not funny at all. Not that it really matters - even when there aren't any eczema patches on my legs, I have multiple bruises at any given time anyway. If you were wo...

Whenever I don't blog as much, you can assume that I'm happily occupied with miscellaneous schemes. Or that I'm just too lazy to reach out to the world and let others know what I've been up to. Either assumption would be valid. =P Anyway, here's an update. I've gotten involved with the Animal Protection Society (APS) of Durham as a dog walker, and also joined their Education Committee. I know the word "committee" conjures up the image of power and prestige in the mind's eye, but trust me, it just means I (sometimes) offer to man the APS booth at community events. Manning the booth doesn't take much - I usually wait for little kids to walk up to me, tempt them to spin the "Wheel of Animal Trivia", and quiz them on whatever category they get. Hardly powerful. Then they get to choose a small prize regardless of whether they got the correct answer or not, because they learnt a new fact. I think it's an ingenious way to educate littl...

Just a few weeks ago, I was complaining of boredom. The introvert in me takes that back now. =P Today, I felt unusually subdued even though I actually went for the Duke International Spouses' Cooking Club. It's not unusual for me to debate internally about attending events because I need to ration my energy reserves (totally not weird of me =P), but when I show up and start interacting with people, my social skills usually kick in and I usually end up having a better time than I thought I'd have. The exhaustion only comes when I'm safely back home. Today, however, I just couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to chat up acquaintances or new faces even though I was surrounded by people, so I mostly listened in on other people's conversations. When I thought about how listless I felt today, I realized that it might have been an effect of yesterday's activities. I had volunteered to man a booth at Centerfest 2015 for the Animal Protection Society (APS) of Durh...

I've been happily busy of late. "Busy" meaning I have appointments/dates with friends or volunteer gigs, not actually being productive and earning money. =P From last Friday through this Wednesday, I was on a roll. Until today. I was supposed to go for dog volunteer training at the Animal Protection Society of Durham, but I made a mistake, signed up for Dog Care at 10am and missed the actual volunteer training that started at 8.30am.  I wasted a whole trip there and back, and I iz sad, and nao I haz a lot of free tyme on mai handz. Went back home with my tail between my legs, checked my potted plant, watered it because I had too much time on my hands, and while I was trying to drain the excess water, accidentally dropped it and smashed the pot. Yes, when it rains, it absolutely pours. I'm telling ya, no plant (or animal, or human for that matter) is safe with Little Miss Clumsy. This little succulent garden cheated death once when we were moving to our pl...

Monday was a holiday since it was Labor Day Weekend, so I pestered Jia Wern to bring me to Raleigh. Raleigh is the capital of North Carolina, and a mere half hour drive from Durham. I'm not much of a traveller myself - the hassle of logistics and the exorbitant cost gets to me a bit too much - but short distances and day trips to explore new places? Count me in. It was a day well-spent if I might say so myself. First off, we went to Crabtree Valley Mall where I promptly spent an hour and a half shopping at Forever 21. Okay, that's not very touristy but the mall was HIS idea, and I enjoyed myself immensely. =P After that, we walked around the mall, had lunch, and headed out to the Raleigh Little Theater's Rose Garden. The rose garden was very quiet and secluded, and the landscape looked rather English Aristocrat-ish, like most of Raleigh does. Unfortunately, September seems to be the tail end of the rose season and we only got to see mostly tired roses in full bloom. Sti...

Over the past three days, I read 2 Christian books written by Pastor J.D. Greear (the pastor of the Summit Church which I attend), "Stop Asking Jesus into your Heart" and "Jesus Continued...". The former is about the assurance of salvation for believers who struggle with doubt and anxiety about their faith, and the latter is about the Holy Spirit and how it works in our lives. I loved both books, because it exposed me to a side of Christianity that I am all too familiar with. I'll start by reflecting on the first book, "Stop Asking Jesus into your Heart". Growing up in a Christian family, I had no dramatic conversion to the faith - rather, it was a slowly deepening assurance of the truth of the message of salvation. However, I wasn't spared from questioning the validity of my faith and salvation, and I even "made the decision" to accept Jesus into my heart more than once. One particularly embarrassing incident happened during an evangel...

Summer is coming to a close, as evidenced by the chilly nights we've been having. This morning, I woke up to a cloudy sky and cold, damp weather - you know, the kind perfect for sleeping in. =P Haven't had those in a while. I even wore a sweater for a good part of the morning. Sorry about the blogging hiatus. I spent the past week in a motel due to plumbing repairs in my apartment, and the change in environment wasn't very conducive for blogging. At first I thought a motel stay would be fun since my brain subconsciously associated it with travelling and adventure, but I soon figured out that motel stays are only fun if you spend most of the day out, not cooped up in it. =P Still, it was a change of scenery and we made the most out of it. We fully utilized the TV once, and the bathtub once. I know, I'm getting old and these things don't amuse me as much as they used to before. Ah, the disenchantment that comes with being an adult! Give me a fast internet connecti...

I now know why guys are terrified of asking girls out. Having made more friends over the past few weeks, I've also tried to spend more time with them outside of the book club. That, however, means I have to put myself out there and ask acquaintances if they would like to go for coffee or hang out. Before that happens, though, I usually spend a few hours worrying if I'm appearing too eager to make friends. I don't want to be that clingy puppy dog/overeager beaver that people hide their annoyance towards and feel bad about declining invitations from. =P Asking someone out also means putting them in a position where they're obligated to respond nicely because it's the polite thing to do, and I really don't want to put any pressure on anyone. Yes, I know I'm the one with loads of free time on my hands and others have more pressing schedules. That only adds to my hesitation. In all honesty, I probably worry too much about other people's perception of me. ...

While my husband is slaving away at his laptop to write a paper, I hand wash some clothes, write some Amazon buyer reviews, check out Kroger's weekly deals and eventually turn to blogging. My days are filled with more human interaction now and the past few weeks have been good. We try to serve at every opportunity the church offers us as long as it doesn't affect JW's work, and I've been getting to know more people from the Book Club and also through hosting people at our place. I like hosting people - it makes me feel like I'm utilizing all the space (and rent) that we have for a good cause. Ironically, the more activities I get myself into, the more I feel like I have too much downtime. Our nights have become more boring and besides reading or watching something on Netflix, there isn't much to do together with JW. Maybe I should just leave him alone to finish his book or play Battleship . =P The other night, we played Scrabble against a bot. It was fun but...

I am thankful that I can speak three languages. It certainly helps a lot in Malaysia, and it's relatively easy for me to communicate here in the States because I can speak English. Here, though, my English doesn't sound like standard English. For one thing, I don't have the accent; for another, my rhythm, intonation and pronunciation is usually different from Americans'. I have to think twice every time I say "three" or "through" because all my life I've been enunciating those as "tree" and "tru". In case you're wondering, it's something like "thuh-ree", but smoother and quicker. Which is why I avoid saying it if possible - it just takes too much time to get right. Helpful synonyms include "a few" and "some". =P The worst part is, conditioning myself to pronounce the "thuh" sound makes me say ALL words beginning with "T" like that. Sometimes I accidentally catch mys...

“We can start working with time if you wish,” Chiang said, “till you can fly the past and the future. And then you will be ready to begin the most difficult, the most powerful, the most fun of all. You will be ready to begin to fly up and know the meaning of kindness and of love.” - Jonathan Livingston Seagull In the new world that Jonathan found himself in, he learned and mastered flying at top speed and teleportation. Among all these amazing skills, it is surprising that the Elder Chiang deems kindness and love the "most difficult, the most powerful, the most fun of all". At first, I thought this book would be about striving for perfection in our passion, and personally, I don't know if there's anything I would be as obsessed about perfecting as much as Jonathan wanted to perfect his flying skills. This surprising turn of events reminds me of a Bible v erse that goes:  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a...

Sometimes I wonder if what I wear really reflects my taste. I personally think it doesn't, because I'm limited to stuff in the bargain bins or discount racks. A typical shopping trip goes like this : May : Oohhh I like that! It looks classy. JW : Yeah it does. May : But when am I ever going to wear it? It's more suitable for formal occasions. But it's so pretty. *checks pricetag* Okay forget it.  *May moves on to the discount rack.*  May : Everything here is 10 bucks! *starts rifling through the clothes, doesn't see anything she REALLY likes, but a few which are decent* This is an interesting design, but I don't really like the colour. Do I reaaaaally need this? 10 bucks is still 10 bucks. I don't have any *insert type of clothing here* yet, this may come in handy. Is this going to match with any of my clothes, though? Ah whatever, let's try it on. Clothes-trying is free anyway.  *May tries it on*  JW : How was it? May: I still don'...

I just spent my whole morning creating a video collage of the photos from our wedding. It was fun. =P My rationale for the video went like this : I uploaded about 60 of the best photos to a Facebook album, but I really had around 400. Which meant there were quite a lot that the public didn't get to see. Flowers and more abstract photos are nice, but when you're trying to make a summary of your wedding (no one wants to go through 400 photos on Facebook), you just pick the ones with the most people or that best represent the event. And because I've already posted some to Facebook, this video can be for the rest of the photos that weren't shown (like the flowers and deco). =D Otherwise they would be wasted okay...I paid like RM2k for my photographer and I have to make the most out of it. =P It was also a trip down memory lane for me as I went through some of those photos. Thanks to a free trial by Animoto, making this video collage was a breeze. Enjoy! Song: "Wh...

I recently joined the Duke International Book Club, and we'll be reading through and discussing "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach over the next few weeks. There are also writing assignments for this book, so I felt that I might as well share what I write here, too. This is the writing cue for the first chapter :  For chapter 1, perhaps you have had some passion, in art, music, some dream, etc. that you strove for and were told to instead 'fit in'. What was that like for you? Write a paragraph or two about your experience. In Malaysia, there are three well-regarded career paths that 'highly educated' or 'intelligent' people follow : Medicine, Law and Engineering. Of course, this is an oversimplification, but that's the general sentiment that most parents echo, especially those with children who do well academically. I did well in school, but was never interested in those aforementioned career paths. All I ever wanted to do wa...

I really think Facebook isn't the best place to get advice on life and relationships from. By "advice", I mean shared pictures that go "Fake friends do this, real friends do that", or "A real guy will do this, not that", or some pithy quotes/links that go viral ('viral' meaning more than 2 people sharing it on your Facebook newsfeed, of course). Or could it be that my newsfeed has a higher proportion of these things than other people's newsfeeds? *shrugs* Angsty teens sharing such quotes or 'wisdom' can be overlooked because we all know how tumultuous and dramatic teenage life can be. For all us older folks, though, we should know better that life can't be neatly categorized into black and white, right and wrong, true and false, and so on. Case in point : Friends can't be categorized into just "real" and "fake" - there may be acquaintances who may genuinely like you but wouldn't dream of stealing ...

I was pondering the boring state of my existence just the other day, when I realized that having a job only improves things slightly. The reason I was ruminating over it is because being a stay-at-home wife, your social life takes a big hit. I once asked a housewife what the biggest challenge/downside was to being one, and she said it was the loneliness and loss of social skills. When you're facing a toddler 24/7 and don't have peers to talk to because everyone's busy with their own life, your social skills will definitely degenerate from lack of use. Even though I don't have a toddler take care of, I can identify with the isolation. For example, it would be SO MUCH EASIER to go up to a stranger, make introductions and swap info about what I do or compare notes on what the other person does if I had a career worth talking about. But I don't, so I'm stuck feeling awkward. And why am I talking about putting myself out there to meet random people? Because as ...

I know you're dying to see pictures of our new place. Or maybe I'm just projecting. =P But here they are anyways! The living room. The study/extra table for miscellaneous junk in the corner of the living room. The 'end table' there which also doubles as a bookshelf is a converted laptop table. Close up of the coffee table. Some flowers to make you happy! Now, I'm a self-confessed really bad photographer, and I don't have the patience (nor the aptitude) to edit photos to perfection. So what you're seeing is truly "no filter", "not that tidy" and I even left out the dining table because it was cluttered haha. As you can tell, the place is so spacious that I can't really get everything into one shot. That was just the prettiest part of the apartment, and I haven't even shown you the dining area, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom yet. Granted, I'm pretty sure no one's really interested in the bathroom (or maybe th...

One of the things I enjoy most about having time on my hands is being able to learn more about subjects I'm interested in. Back in college days, I used to gripe about not having the time to fully delve into deeper understanding of particular topics that caught my interest due to practical considerations such as the lack of time and energy, or the fact that it wouldn't be asked about in the exam. Now I have the freedom to learn any subject of my choice due to platforms like Coursera and Youtube and the Internet in general. Yay for online education! I initially signed up for online courses to pad my resume, so I was on the lookout for courses related to my field. As of today, I have completed "The Clinical Psychology of Children and Young Adults" by the University of Edinburgh, and I am in the second week of "The Bilingual Brain" by the University of Houston. At the same time, I'm also signed up for "The Psychology of Popularity" by UNC Chapel ...

Here I am, at long last, blogging from our own place. For the past six months, we had been sharing an apartment with Jameson. While the stay has been lovely and the company's been great, it's great to finally get a place to ourselves. Beyond the obvious benefits of privacy, the temperature regulation(the air-con was always too cold there), and so much more space, it also feels like a milestone - this is our first apartment together since our marriage. So exciting! Right now it's summertime, and today the temperature is going to hit 34 degrees Celsius at some point. That's like Malaysian weather, but it's still bearable because it's not as humid here. For my Malaysian friends who have little to no concept of what a "less humid" place is, think of it this way - if you're in a shaded place, it's much cooler than being out in the sun, even if the light is just 1 foot away from where you're standing. No such thing in Malaysia, I know. =P ....

I hate smoke alarms. I hate that they make me worry whenever I'm cooking, whether I'm cooking a hard-boiled egg or crepe batter. I hate that it's so loud and annoys other people as well. Having to apologize about the noise is just...ugh! When we get our own place, I'm definitely tampering with the smoke alarm so that it'll never ring when I cook again. I can't suffer this kind of embarrassment and stress for the next two years. It has traumatized me too much. I need to be able to cook in peace. Yes, you can expect me to die from an apartment fire. In other news, we're moving next Tuesday! How exciting!

Recently, a very close friend of mine from college got married. To my surprise, I actually felt like I was missing out on a major milestone in her life and the reunion of my classmates at her wedding. I also just got the news that yet another classmate will be getting hitched this weekend, but I'm too far removed geographically to share in their happiness. The weird thing is, I find myself actually wanting to share in the happiness even though I can't. I'm surprised that I feel this way now, given that I'm hardly the most sentimental person you'll know. I didn't mind my close friends not attending my own wedding. I didn't know what the big deal was about having close friends to celebrate with me because I just wanted to get the whole wedding thing over and done with. I didn't feel much loss when I was still in college and skipped the weddings of some coursemates - granted, I wasn't very close to them anyway. Maybe the degree of intimacy you have...

Today's the first day of June. Yesterday was our first wedding anniversary, and we celebrated it over the weekend by making a getaway trip to Wilmington, a charming town just a 2.5 hour drive away. Photos and stuff are all on Facebook, so you'll only get words here. =P I can't believe how time flies. Jia Wern and I have been married for a year (!) already and dated for 7.5 years (yup, still counting). I've been here in the U.S. for half a year and don't really feel like an alien anymore. I've also learnt to bake, drive on the right side of the road, made friends at church, volunteer - all things that seemed so far away just 6 months ago. God has been so good to me. Just the other day, I kiddingly piled the guilt on Jia Wern for "ruining my career" and "making me give everything up for you". Whereupon he retorted, "For a ruined person, you seem to be having a lot of fun." I can't hide the fact that I love being here with hi...

Road trip to the beach tomorrow! I'm excited 'cause it's a change from the usual. It CAN get boring when you're stuck in one place for too long - I see now why some people have the itch to travel. For me, though, the hassles of travelling usually far outweigh the fun, so it isn't much of an itch for me. Just as well, given the fact that we're far from rich. =P Anyway, it's exciting to be able to see a new place and soak in more pretty sights! I was doing a bit of research this morning about places to see, and then got sidetracked into looking up places to eat and menus...and then ended up craving beef rendang and nasi lemak and all things Malaysian. The bad news is, I'm not sure they're available in that town where we're going to. The good news is, apparently Merlion restaurant in nearby Chapel Hill has them on the menu! For an exorbitant price, that is, but hey, that "anniversary/my birthday/his birthday" card is still ver...