Feeling less like a liability
Getting paid for work done feels GOOD.
All things considered, I mentally assent that I'm not a liability. I run the household, I provide companionship, I basically improve the quality of JW's life. But when I'm just draining monetary resources without putting anything back into the money pot, it's hard not to feel like I have to scrimp ALL the time so that I'm LESS of a liability than I already am.
So after I got my first big pay, I felt really happy. Since I recently got a new phone, it also didn't hurt that I could cover the cost without dipping into our savings. It's so freeing to have your own money!
Well, as long as you can think of it as YOUR own money. My very active guilt complex forces me to see it as OUR money and that I'm just doing my due diligence by contributing to household expenses.
Bummer.
Also, when you spend a week working just for $100, you tend appreciate every dollar you make to the fullest and spending becomes a little more painful.
So basically, we're right back where we started. Earning my keep gives me the freedom for guilt-free spending, but it also causes more reluctance to because I know every single drop of sweat and blood that went into it.
I'm a walking contradiction.
But hey, at least I'm a walking contradiction who's $100 richer! =P
All things considered, I mentally assent that I'm not a liability. I run the household, I provide companionship, I basically improve the quality of JW's life. But when I'm just draining monetary resources without putting anything back into the money pot, it's hard not to feel like I have to scrimp ALL the time so that I'm LESS of a liability than I already am.
So after I got my first big pay, I felt really happy. Since I recently got a new phone, it also didn't hurt that I could cover the cost without dipping into our savings. It's so freeing to have your own money!
Well, as long as you can think of it as YOUR own money. My very active guilt complex forces me to see it as OUR money and that I'm just doing my due diligence by contributing to household expenses.
Bummer.
Also, when you spend a week working just for $100, you tend appreciate every dollar you make to the fullest and spending becomes a little more painful.
So basically, we're right back where we started. Earning my keep gives me the freedom for guilt-free spending, but it also causes more reluctance to because I know every single drop of sweat and blood that went into it.
I'm a walking contradiction.
But hey, at least I'm a walking contradiction who's $100 richer! =P
Comments
Post a Comment